I spy with my little eye, smoething begginning with "s"...

Does anyone ever feel like simply standing on the edge of a cliff, half naked, and jumping off? That's what i feel like doing right now because i am steadily becoming more and more "out of it" or not in tune with what everyone is doing.

I really want to go swimming in a pool of my own blood, that would be nice. Then when i get out, my skin will be red. YAY! I like the colour red, its very symbolic. And it is also one of the more serious colours.

I think that a lot of people hate me in this world. Most of them hardly know me. The majority of these people are at my old school but there are others who didn't go to my old school that don't like me. I feel like such a loner sometimes. Everyone just gives me this look as if, "you don't deserve friends, you had your chance" and sometimes i get looks like, "and you are?" or "what are you doing here?" and so forth... But I am a reject. Sometimes I wish I could tell someone what really happened, but no, no-one wants to be my friend. Everyone is repelled by me. There is only one person in the world that is truly my friend, and that is myself. Even the people whom I hang out with at school doesn't even truly know me... don't know my past. If i do tell them, the next day, they pass me off without even saying "hey". That's what annoys me. The simple ignorance of people who just don't care. I really hate it how people don't appreciate what they have, but instead, they rub it into everyon else's faces who are a lot worse off than themselves... That pisses me off big time. Almost everyone in my group have never seen me angry, not my uncontrolable anger anyhow. That is the curse of my family, a really bad temper. That probably why everyone is scared of my dad... But the thing that really gets on my nerve is this. When people act as if they are the best thing in the world, or "god's gift" as some would say... that pisses me off...